I just had to post this one. Too funny. I will have week 6 betting lines up shortly. Until then hope you get a chuckle out of this...
MOST-WANTED OFFENDERS
BY Greg Couch Sun-Times Columnist
The Bears will play the Washington NFL football team Sunday, and it's going to be impossible to write about that and not offend people.
How do you do it?
The Washington NFL players were too strong for the Bears? Think of the trouble in writing headlines.
The "R'' word is going to slip out for sure on radio, on TV. This is not an endorsement or condemnation, but the team name is:
Redskins.
Their theme song includes the line: "Braves on the warpath, fight for old D.C.'' And it used to include, "Scalp 'em, swamp 'em. We will take 'em touchdown. We want heap more.''
Sports is still a politically incorrect world. And to some, that means people are being too uppity and should just lighten up. To others, it means there are a bunch of racists and sexists out there who rather would hurt people's feelings than, say, change their theme song. Or put down their tomahawks or flaming spears.
''Quite frankly, you'd get kicked in the butt pretty hard for calling a team Boston Blackskins or New Jersey Jews or something like that,'' said Stephen Kaufman, the University of Illinois professor who has helped lead a fight against the school's use of Chief Illiniwek as its mascot. "So we've moved on some of these things. Society has progressed. But on this one issue, we're stuck.''
It is true that in the politically incorrect sports world, there are fewer and fewer insulting things. The Pekin Chinks, after all, are now the Pekin Dragons. So names have changed under the pressure.
And most of the remaining questionable names or events would stand to insult American Indians or women. Although there are still some other possible jabs at, say, Irish people, fat people, unpatriotic people.
"A lot of it is how powerful the group is who's offended,'' said Gerald Gems, a sports historian at North Central College. "It's about whether they can make a dent in ticket sales or if someone has political power.
"Indians are the one group that doesn't really have enough power, it appears, to really force a change. African Americans, Jews, Catholics, anyone with vocal power, can stop these things.''
Here is a list, in no particular order, of some of the remaining, never-ending, issues:
1. REDSKINS: Start with what is possibly the most offensive. A few surveys have come out recently showing that American Indians don't consider the word bothersome. But academics question the way the studies were done.
"It's probably among the most offensive terms you could use to refer to a Native American,'' said Jay Coakley, a sports sociologist at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. "Savages would be right up there, too. And red raiders.
"Those polls might ask people if they are Native Americans, and the people might say yes, they have some relative [who is]. But they haven't grown up Native American, haven't lived the culture, seen how the culture has been ripped off by other people. Those people aren't going to object to anything.''
Coakley equated the R-word with the N-word. And Gems said that the team picked up that name after it hired William Lonestar Dietz as a coach.
"He was at least partial Indian,'' Gems said. "And the owner had him dress up in Sioux headdress and buckskins and perform.''
2. THE MATADORS: The Bulls' dance team of fat guys. Kids are fighting a serious obesity problem as a health issue in this country, and critics suggest that the Matadors are mocking fatness. Others suggest that they are mocking women.
"Guys have looked at halftime dancers [female dance teams] without taking them seriously,'' Coakley said. "I don't know if the women should be out there or not. But they do work hard, have a routine. With [the Matadors], it's just one big cut. 'We don't take women seriously, and I'll show you how seriously we don't take them. Take a look at our routine.'''
WSCR morning host Mike North, who might be the king of the politically incorrect, doesn't see it that way.
"I love the Matadors,'' he said. "I think that's great. Yeah, they're making fun of fat people, but they are fat. If they were really making fun, they would have pillows stuffed underneath.
"It's just like Chris Farley did the Chippendale thing [tryouts with Patrick Swayze] years ago on 'Saturday Night Live.' Or maybe he was just making fun of the fact that some of these dancers all have to be so perfect.''
3. CHIEF ILLINIWEK: The argument never seems to end over this. Are the Chief and his dance a way of honoring our state's American Indian heritage? Is the halftime dance a step-by-step historical enactment of proud people? That's the claim of the Chief's supporters.
"The thing is, it's not historically accurate,'' Gems said. "The guys at Illinois wear a Sioux headdress. But the Sioux never lived in Illinois. They would have to come up with some other tribe if they really wanted to be historically accurate.
"That dance is completely made up. They studied dances before coming up with that, but the Indians themselves say that one is made up. It's a stereotype. That's what offends them.''
Coakley said that many of those dances were considered religious traditions anyway and shouldn't have been copied.
4. THE FIGHTING IRISH: Notre Dame has a leprechaun with his dukes up for a mascot. And the term fighting Irish would seem to further a stereotype. Coakley, Gems and North don't have a problem with this one.
"I'm half-Irish, and the Irish people don't get mad about this,'' North said. "So why should the Indians get upset about Redskins?''
Coakley explained: "If the Irish were currently experiencing the same things as the Native Americans are, the poverty, unemployment, then that wouldn't be good. And the leprechaun is just a mythical figure anyway.''
But didn't Irish people used to suffer poverty, unemployment and prejudice against them?
"Yes, but they have their fair share of resources now,'' Coakley said.
"And 100 years from now, we might not be talking about Redskins anymore, if the Native American casinos take off and tribal identities are tied to opportunity and not oppression.
"Some people would disagree with me on that anyway and say stereotypes are bad no matter what. For example, even when Jews are doing fine, does that mean anti-Semitism is no longer a problem?''
Gems said the name Fighting Irish actually might be seen as a compliment.
"The ironic thing is that they have the Fighting Irish and the leprechaun, but most of the players are African-American,'' he said. "It's something that doesn't fit anymore. But the whole tradition that goes along with it, with the Irish as working-class people. It might have stood for working-class ethnics as a group, who see that as a positive.''
5. TOMAHAWK CHOP: Florida State is credited (blamed?) for this act, in which fans move their arms in a tomahawk motion while chanting.
"The ironic thing is you had Jane Fonda, Ted Turner's wife, practicing the chop at Atlanta Braves games,'' Gems said. "Here she is considered one of the most radical liberals, whom Vietnam vets were ready to string up. And she's doing that?''
6. BEACH VOLLEYBALL: The sport itself is in question, especially when the women are playing. They wear bikinis, and at the Olympics, a bikini dance team from the Canary Islands would come out between points and bump and grind to blaring disco music. The crowd dances along and makes habit of drinking heavily.
It is a real-life beer commercial.
And when the Americans won gold at the Olympics, it was not their success that drew the attention, but rather their down-in-the-sand hug.
Is it something that gives young girls another sport to play? Or is it just selling sex, booze and beach life?
7. SPORTS TERMS: North said that quarterbacks still are throwing bombs and defenses still are blitzing. And in wartime, he believes, those terms aren't acceptable. Not in a fun, lighthearted way.
"They're still using war terms, still calling guys warriors,'' he said.
"Sammy [Sosa] will always tell you he's a gladiator.''
North said that when it comes to the war, sensitivity is required.
"I was watching 'College Gameday' this weekend, and they were picking between USC and the California Golden Bears,'' North said. "Lee Corso took a bear and pretended to cut his head off. And that was just after the British gentleman lost his head in Iraq.''
8. AUGUSTA NATIONAL: Still no women members at the club where they play the Masters. Golf has the exclusive image, and when its most prestigious club excludes women, that sends a message. On the other hand, it is a private club.
9. SHINGO TAKATSU: When the White Sox closer, who is Japanese, comes into games, the Sox blare a gong sound over the p.a. They do it after he gets players out, too. The Sox reportedly asked him in advance if that would bother him, and he approved it.
10. CHIEF WAHOO: The Cleveland Indians' mascot is a silly-looking American Indian with a huge grin on his face. The question is whether this is something we should be laughing at.
